The background hum of anxiety

Stress has a way of finding the seams in a household, and the start of a school year pries at those seams every August. Throw in a year with extra uncertainty and the pressure builds on parents and kids alike. Social distance, working from home, one family sharing four screens in the same room, every house has its own version of too much.

A lot of the ways people usually blow off steam have been harder to reach. The gym, concerts, trips, even grabbing coffee with a friend. When those levers get pulled away, people reach for whatever is still close. Sometimes that is a drink. Sometimes that is something stronger.

What anxiety looks like in a family

If the anxiety is working on you, you might see some of this in yourself or the people you live with:

  • More friction at home, at work, or at school
  • Sleep and eating patterns sliding off
  • Trouble focusing, trouble finishing
  • More tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs than usual

Using to cope makes sense, and it also doesn't work

If the stress goes up and the usual coping tools are out of reach, it is not surprising that drinks and use creep up. It is the fastest way to change how you feel. Reporting in the Washington Post article "As Pandemic and Stay-at-Home Orders Spread, So Does Alcohol Consumption" walks through how common the uptick has been.

Short term, drinking more might take the edge off. Longer term, it creates its own set of problems, on top of whatever you were trying to calm down in the first place.

The school year question

Whether you are a parent juggling online school and a job, a student bracing for a new schedule, or a teacher making it work inside a new set of rules, the theme is the same. A lot of decisions are being made by people who are not you, on a timeline you do not set. That kind of uncertainty is harder to cope with than a specific fear. A fear of snakes has an answer. Vague fear about how a year is going to go has no single answer, so the brain overthinks it.

Ways to handle anxiety that do not involve a drink

A few practical moves that help:

  • Lower the stress hormone first. Our post on six ways to lower cortisol walks through specific tools. Any one of them moves the needle.
  • Split the list. Take a piece of paper and make two columns: things I can control, things I cannot. Under "cannot" might be: what the district decides, what other families do, whether sports happen. Under "can" might be: the decisions we make as a family, how I set up our space, how I take care of myself so I can keep showing up. Most of the spin happens when we try to fix the left column.
  • Laugh on purpose. If you have never seen the Bob Newhart "Stop It" sketch, it is five minutes that will crack even a rough day. Small laughter is still laughter.

Take an honest look at your use

If you are in recovery and watching for slips, or you have noticed the use is louder than usual, a quick honest check in is worth doing. A first call with one of our alcohol counseling or drug counseling team is free, runs about fifteen minutes, and stays between you and the counselor.

We're here

If the assessment surprises you, or you already know something needs to change, we offer alcohol counseling, drug counseling, family counseling, and codependency counseling. For a loved one whose use has outpaced what a family can manage, Linda is a certified Love First Interventionist and leads family interventions with care.

Counseling not enough right now? We also have a Partial Hospitalization Program, an Intensive Outpatient Program, and Standard Outpatient (SOP) for the long, steady work.

Call 832-928-0211 for a free fifteen minute consultation. One honest call is how most families start.