Strengths as the other half of recovery

At Kagey, we partner with Positive Recovery Centers to offer our Partial Hospitalization Program and Intensive Outpatient Program in the Energy Corridor. One reason for that partnership is PRC's use of positive psychology. The recovery work is honest about what is broken, and equally honest about what is already working inside you.

Whether you are a week sober or twenty years sober, it is easy to lose sight of your own strengths. It is almost always easier to believe the bad stuff. You would not be in recovery if nothing had gone sideways, but that does not erase what you still have to build on. The fact that you are reading this means at least two of your strengths are online, curiosity and bravery. Both are on the list below.

The VIA Institute and the 24 strengths

The VIA Institute on Character has studied strengths across cultures and found twenty four that show up in every person. The institute builds research and training around them and provides the tools PRC uses with its clients, which shapes how counselors at our PHP and IOP plan treatment.

Every person carries every strength. The question is how balanced each one is in your life. The VIA calls this overuse and underuse. Overuse is the strength cranked up too loud. Underuse is the strength dialed down until it barely shows. Both create problems. The goal is not to find your best one, it is to bring the ones that are out of balance back toward the middle.

The full list

For each strength, here is what it looks like when it is overused and what it looks like when it is underused.

  • Creativity. Overuse: eccentricity. Underuse: conformity.
  • Curiosity. Overuse: nosiness. Underuse: disinterest.
  • Judgment and open-mindedness. Overuse: narrow-mindedness or cynicism. Underuse: unreflectiveness.
  • Love of learning. Overuse: know-it-all. Underuse: complacency.
  • Perspective. Overuse: overbearing. Underuse: shallowness.
  • Bravery. Overuse: foolhardiness. Underuse: cowardice.
  • Perseverance. Overuse: obsessiveness. Underuse: fragility.
  • Honesty. Overuse: righteousness. Underuse: phoniness.
  • Zest. Overuse: hyperactive. Underuse: sedentary.
  • Love. Overuse: emotional promiscuity. Underuse: emotional isolation.
  • Kindness. Overuse: intrusiveness. Underuse: indifference.
  • Social intelligence. Overuse: over-analyzing. Underuse: obtuse or clueless.
  • Teamwork. Overuse: dependent. Underuse: selfishness.
  • Fairness. Overuse: detachment. Underuse: partisanship.
  • Leadership. Overuse: despotism. Underuse: compliant.
  • Forgiveness. Overuse: permissive. Underuse: merciless.
  • Modesty and humility. Overuse: self-deprecation. Underuse: hubris.
  • Prudence. Overuse: stuffiness. Underuse: sensation seeking.
  • Self-regulation. Overuse: inhibition. Underuse: self-indulgence.
  • Appreciation of beauty and excellence. Overuse: snobbery or perfectionism. Underuse: oblivion.
  • Gratitude. Overuse: ingratiation. Underuse: rugged individualism.
  • Hope. Overuse: Pollyanna-ism. Underuse: negativity.
  • Humor. Overuse: giddiness. Underuse: grim.
  • Religiousness and spirituality. Overuse: snobbery or perfectionism. Underuse: alienation.

Three examples, up close

Curiosity

The strength: you like new ideas and you approach life ready to learn. That is gold in early recovery, because almost everything you are being handed is new.

Overuse shows up as nosiness. You get into other people's business. You ask the personal question too early. In meetings, you find yourself in the middle of someone else's conflict.

Underuse shows up as disinterest. You come off like you do not care what is happening with anyone else. In a group, people can read that as "he's only worried about himself."

Bravery

The strength: you face hard things. You ask for help. If you are in recovery at all, this strength is already present. You are using it.

Overuse shows up as foolhardiness. Recklessness. No regard for consequences. If you have been hit with a DUI, a blown relationship, or a job loss tied to your substance use, this is the strength that ran out of brakes.

Underuse shows up as cowardice. You stay quiet. You avoid the conversation you need to have. If this is where you tend to sit, tell someone. Bravery is already inside you, it is just under-expressed, and it responds to support.

Hope

The strength: you trust there is something better coming. Recovery is a long road with ups and downs, and hope is the fuel that keeps you on it.

Overuse shows up as Pollyanna-ism. Everything is sunshine. Real problems get papered over. If you respond to your own pain or someone else's with "it's all for the best," you are not meeting it, you are skipping it.

Underuse looks like Eeyore. Negative as a default. Hostile without meaning to be. If this is where you live, small practices help. Smile on purpose. Write down three things you are grateful for. Tiny moves, over time, bring the strength back online.

(Persistent hopelessness is different. If you are in a depression or a suicidal state, please talk to a professional.)

Keep building

Use the list like a mirror. Notice where you are in balance. Give yourself credit when you see it. Notice where you are over or under, and make small corrections. No one expresses all twenty four perfectly all the time. That is not the target. Awareness is.

If you want to go deeper, the VIA list is a good rabbit hole.

We're here

We help people do this kind of work in real time, in session. Call 832-928-0211 for a free fifteen minute consultation. We have offices in Houston and offer secure online counseling anywhere in Texas outside the Houston area.