ARE YOU OVERWHELMED BY THE CHALLENGES OF YOUR OR A LOVED ONE’S EARLY RECOVERY?
Are you or a loved one recently sober, struggling with the challenges, questions and triggers that can come with early recovery? Maybe you’re in recovery and have realized that a 12-step program and meetings are not for you, but know that you need support and someone who has been there to talk with about your recovery. It might be that you’re struggling to navigate guilt, shame, anger or other challenging emotions that you may have never felt before while trying to maintain your family responsibilities and keep up with work. Maybe you feel lonely, isolated and unsure of how to be a good partner, parent or friend, especially if your addiction caused breeches in trust and/or the people around you are angry, upset or unsure of how to support you in your recovery. Do you wish you were better equipped to navigate the constant triggers, overwhelming emotions and lingering consequences of addiction and set and achieve meaningful goals as you work toward reclaiming your life?
It might be that your partner, child, parent or other close friend or family member is in early recovery and you have seemingly endless questions about what you should (or shouldn’t) do around him or her. You might be very angry at your loved one for how much pain he or she has caused you and your family, but keep hearing that addiction is a disease. Perhaps you’re trying to have empathy, but you can’t shake the anger, and conflicting emotions around whether drinking and drugging is a choice for him or her have you feeling increasingly frustrated and confused. Maybe you’re consumed with worry about relapse, especially if this isn’t your loved one’s first time in treatment. Or, it might be that you’re blaming yourself for the addiction, feeling that you did something to cause it. Are you harboring immense guilt, shame and/or blame, feeling increasingly isolated and worried that your family is just one step (or shot or fix) away from the chaos of addiction starting again?
Early recovery can be challenging for both the recovering alcoholic or addict and his or her family. Everyone may be feeling on edge, unsure of what steps to take next. Feelings of guilt, shame, blame, anger and more might be bubbling just below the surface with everyone walking on eggshells, feeling confused and uncertain in this new territory. In addition to the emotional and relational challenges that come with recovery, you may also be dealing with the legal, financial and career repercussions of addiction. There also may be unresolved trauma—for both the addict and loved ones—and feelings of anxiety, depression and more. While everyone just wants to feel normal and in control of their lives and personal wellbeing, dealing with the aftermath of addiction and the challenges of early recovery may have you feeling lost.
UNDERSTANDING EARLY RECOVERY
If you’re having a hard time adjusting to sober life, you’re not alone. Early recovery is not easy for anyone, and both the recovering addict/alcoholic and family members need time, support and guidance when navigating healing, growth and change. Beyond navigating triggers and the challenges that come with sober living, there are medical reasons that make early recovery difficult. Essentially when we get sober, the brain begins healing. Alcohol and drugs alter brain chemistry and decrease an addict’s intellectual and emotional capacity. It takes time for the systems that went offline when drinking and drugging to come back online and for the brain to work normally again and/or find a new normal.
Early recovery can also be difficult for loved ones. Many family members don’t know what to say, how to act or what to do around the recovering alcoholic or addict. They don’t want to make things worse, and they don’t know how to make things better. It’s common to struggle with conflicting emotions and to manage feelings of shame, anger, blame, guilt and anxiety. Addictions are traumatic for loved ones, and many people need help processing unresolved trauma. There is also a lot of loneliness around addiction and loved ones of addicts often feel isolated. Early recovery is also demanding of time and energy. With therapy and meetings, it can be challenging to keep things normal, especially for the children in the family. Everyone might be harboring anger, walking on eggshells and afraid to talk about the enormous pink elephant in the room.
Family members might be wondering how long this will go on, desperately wanting to believe that this time sobriety will stick, but not really believing it. Meanwhile, the addict wants to fix everything, and do so quickly, but rebuilding trust and putting life back together takes time.
The good news is that you can get the added support that can make early recovery much easier for everyone. A recovery coach can help you and/or your family members develop healthy boundaries, self-care strategies and actionable steps you can take to meet recovery goals.
RECOVERY COACHING PROVIDES YOU WITH SUPPORT, SKILLS AND STRATEGIES FOR SOBER LIVING
Recovery coaching can be an invaluable enhancement to therapy and help you to manage triggers, set goals and process your experience in between therapy sessions. In fact, proven research demonstrates the efficacy of recovery coaching from substance abuse—both for recovering addicts and their families—and the federal government is now funding recovery coaching programs across the nation.
If you’re in early recovery, your Kagey Family Counseling recovery coach can help you navigate the triggers and challenges that come with sober living. As someone who both personally and professionally understands the challenges of recovery, your coach can serve as your external brain while yours is healing and help you think things through and make thoughtful decisions that support your recovery and help you reach important milestones. Your coach can also help you identify and manage triggers, develop effective coping skills, manage challenging—and often times surprising—emotions and set and achieve important goals. You can also develop strategies that can help you restore trust and work through any pressing concerns, such as workplace, parenting, financial or legal issues..
If you’re a loved one of an addict, your Kagey Family Counseling family recovery coach can help you devise strategies that can help you be a support to the addict as well as uncover what you need to heal. Coaching sessions are a time for you to express anything and everything with someone who understands what it means to live with and love an active and/or recovering addict. Together, you can work on setting and sustaining boundaries that can help you stay healthy through the recovery process, which can be as taxing on you—if not more—as it is on the addict. Your recovery coach can also help you understand codependency and develop the skills and strategies you need to take care of yourself so you don’t lose yourself in the addict again.
Our recovery coaches have years of training and personal experience that qualify them to serve as effective coaches. We understand that everyone has a different experience, which is why your coach will develop a coaching strategy that best addresses yours and/or your family’s specific history, values, needs and overall goals. We understand both personally and professional the power and chaos of addiction, but we also know that with compassionate and practical guidance and support, it is possible to get off of the rollercoaster of addiction.
As a loved on of an addict, you can understand that your needs are important, experience joy regardless of what is going on with the rest of your family and remain accountable to yourself. As a recovering alcoholic or addict, it is possible to feel fully supported and understood through the early recovery process. There will be hard days, but with a coach, you won’t have to get through them alone. It is possible to let go of the chaos, rebuild relationships and live a sober life that is full of joy and fun.
YOU STILL MAY HAVE QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS ABOUT ADDICTION RECOVERY SERVICES…
It’s the addict, not me, who needs help.
It’s true that the addict needs help, but so do you. You’ve been through a lot of trauma and need to heal. It’s important that you learn to navigate life with someone who has a problem with drugs and alcohol. Getting help for families of addicts can be vital, and a recovery life coach can help you develop the skills, strategies and insight you need to get off of the addict’s rollercoaster and be okay whether he or she is or not. Your job is to be the stable one, and a recovery coach can help you navigate the highs and lows of addiction and recovery so you can best care for your children and other family members.
How long does that addiction recovery coaching process take?
Coaching, especially in early recovery, can be critical to your success and significantly decrease the likelihood of relapse. Coaching provides you with extra support and accessibility to someone who is both trained in substance abuse and has personal experience, which is critical especially if you’re not actively working a 12-step program and don’t have a sponsor. He or she can help you deal with recovery concerns as well as all aspects of your life. All that said, the length of time that you choose to work with a coach is entirely up to you, your needs and your recovery goals.
I’m going to meetings and am in therapy. Why do I also need a coach?
Therapy brings up a lot of emotions, and a coach can help you process what is coming up for you between sessions. As someone who has been there, your coach can provide you with proven strategies and tools and help you figure out what works specifically for you. Your coach’s role also far exceeds that of a sponsor. He or she can help you with much more than working the 12 steps, including addressing emotions, relationships and legal, financial, family and career concerns. Your coach can also help you identify what is important to you and develop actionable steps that you can take to meet recovery goals.
Find Your Freedom
If you and your family are suffering from the impact of addiction, we can help. Addiction is a family disease, and everyone needs support and a safe space to heal. We will guide you by creating an addiction recovery strategy that’s personalized for you and your family. There is freedom from the pain and shame. Take a powerful first step - ask for help - and start your healing journey with us today.
I invite you to call our office at 832-928-0211 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. We’re happy to discuss your specific needs and answer any questions you have. We have offices in Houston, TX, and we provide online therapy and recovery coaching for anyone living outside the Houston area.